Attack of the Rabid Fangirls
by Satanira
Summary: Very random; five teens wind up in various anime worlds. OC warning bigtime. Rated for language and extreme fangirlish behavior.
1. Gundam Wing, Part 1

_This is a very random idea I got while reading _Fruits Basket_ the other day. My mom and I were discussing how the characters would react to me and my friends, and it expanded to other anime and manga. This is what I came up with.

* * *

_

"I feel ridiculous." Sara stated flatly. "Are we almost done?"

"Just about…" Beki replied absently, adjusting the pentacle of stones in front of her one last time. "We just have to say the spell, and I'll be thoroughly humored, okay?"

"Fine." Sara grumped, sitting back on her heels. "So why do you get to be in the middle?"

"Because I wrote the spell." The other blond answered smugly. "You start, Diana."

"Eastern Maid, bless us here." Diana intoned obediently, eyes closed in concentration.

"Southern Warrior, erase our fear." Sara responded reluctantly from Diana's left.

"Western Mother, hear our prayer." Came Nicole's quiet contribution.

"Northern Crone, take us there." Stephanie added, grinning like a maniac.

"We call to thee, Above and Below." Beki concluded, head bowed over folded hands. "Hear our plea and make it so!"

For a moment, nothing happened. The candles flickered, casting odd shadows and making the polished stones glow red.

Then the candles flared brightly and died, plunging the room into near-complete darkness, lit only by a thin trail of blue light on the carpet.

"What's going on!" Sara demanded, scooting away from the steadily brightening light behind her. "Is this supposed to happen!"

"I don't-" Was as far as Beki got before the area inside the circle flared whitely and all five teens vanished.

* * *

"Ooh,_ shit!_" Beki exclaimed, flailing wildly at the air around her. She was _not_ dressed to go swimming…

Since she was doomed to fall anyway, the blond gave up on trying to fly and instead plugged her nose, managing a good deep breath before cannon-balling into the pool below her.

After a few seconds, she hit bottom and pushed as hard as she could, kicking for all she was worth. As soon as she broke the surface, she took several gasping breaths and managed to shake most of the water out of her eyes. She could see well enough to swim to the pool's edge, at any rate.

_Damn, this thing is big!_ She thought, finally reaching the relative safety of the edge. She groped across the smooth tile for some kind of handhold, and encountered a leg instead. Looking up sharply, she found herself staring into a face she knew very, very well.

"Q-Quatre?"

* * *

Stephanie landed with a soft thud on a convenient stack of tumbling mats, jarring every bone in her body.

"Owie…" She complained tearfully, sniffling a little. "My poor, abuseded fanny…"

Standing slowly, Stephanie took the time to inspect her surroundings with mild curiosity. On the very _long_ chance that Beki's spell worked, she certainly hadn't expected to end up in a storage room.

_Well,_ She thought cheerfully, adjusting her shirt,_ no sense staying here._ She strode purposefully to the door, grabbed the handle –

And almost yanked her arm out of its socket.

The door was locked. She'd have to wait for rescue, then, however long it was in coming. Hopefully, it wouldn't be _too_ long; she hadn't so much as munched on a carrot stick since breakfast, and her stomach was beginning to protest her neglectful eating habits.

The sound of footsteps in the hall outside caught her attention, and she gladly turned to the door again, grabbing the knob and rattling it. The footsteps stopped, and Stephanie smiled to herself.

"Hello?" She called, trying her best to sound helpless. "Is someone out there? I can't get the door open. Can you help me?"

Someone on the other side of the slab muttered what sounded to Stephanie like curses, and she bit back a giggle. The panel slid into the wall, revealing the doorknob's strictly ornamental function, and Stephanie was suddenly eye-to-eye with the man of her dreams.

"Heero!" She exclaimed, stepping forward – and found herself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"How the hell do you know that name?"

* * *

Diana was pissed. Weird things had happened to her in the past, and weird things were bound to happen to her in the future, but this… this was just plain ridiculous.

She seriously hadn't expected the spell to work; very few of Beki's harebrained schemes did. She'd expected to indulge her sister and go to bed. That's why she was dressed in a Cowboys' jersey, boxers, and not much else. Because she hadn't expected to be visiting spaceships.

Muttering obscenities at her dimwitted older sister – wherever that idiot was – she made her careful way to what looked like a set of lockers, hoping one might contain clothing close to her size.

Two of the five lockers were securely fastened with heavy deadbolts of some kind. Of the three that weren't, one contained spacesuits and helmets, and another a lot of tools. But the fifth contained uniforms, one of which just barely fit her. The pants were a little snug around the hips and the shirt was a bit on the loose side, but Diana was used to wearing boys' clothes. She could apologize to Undine later for stealing his uniform.

Metal grating against metal alerted her to the arrival of the probable owner of the ship, and possibly even Undine himself. The sound of cursing soon reached her, as well as what must have been someone fumbling with an unwieldy burden.

"Dammit, woman, you left your clothes in the middle of the walkway again!" A young male voice growled, sounding oddly familiar to Diana's ears.

"You know damn well I hate that shade of blue." A woman replied hotly. "Everything that color on this ship is yours."

"That is not." The man replied, floating into view with his helmet under one arm, Diana's jersey held loosely in his free hand.

"Holy shit!" Diana exclaimed before she could stop herself. "You're Chang Wufei!"

* * *

"Mmm… Featherbed." Sara mumbled, smiling sedately. She wasn't quite sure what had happened after the floor in Beki's room started to glow; all she knew and cared about was that she was in a featherbed. A nice, big, soft featherbed.

Sunlight streamed through the open curtains to her left, filling the room with streaks of shadow and light. Aside from the bed, the only furniture was a large wooden wardrobe across from the door, a nightstand, and a stool. She fully intended to investigate the wardrobe and its contents. Just as soon as she felt ready to leave the featherbed. It might be a while.

Especially since someone had been kind enough to cover her with a down quilt while she'd been asleep. It was very comfortable, surrounded by all those feathers, and not even curiosity would drive her out before she was ready.

Voices drifted back to her from somewhere beyond the door. One sounded vaguely familiar, although she really couldn't be bothered to figure out where she'd heard it before.

Giving up on the whole thinking thing, Sara contented herself with drifting back into featherbed-induced sleep.

* * *

All things considered, it could be worse. Nicole wasn't quite sure _how_, exactly, but it could be. After all, she'd only appeared at the apex of a circus tent, fallen twenty feet, and been caught by a clown. And no matter how much clowns scared her, she'd rather be caught by a clown than fall to her death in a circus tent.

Besides, this was one clown she could forgive his profession and freaky pants.

"Are you all right?" Trowa asked, finally able to put her down now that they were out of sight of the crowd.

Nicole nodded mutely, marveling at the fact that Beki's spell had actually worked, even if the placement was a bit off.

"Good." Trowa, apparently, really _was_ a clown of few words, because that was all he said for the next five minutes. Nicole herself much preferred his silence to the babbling of Sara's chosen pilot, so she just sat there being grateful until something started ringing.

It turned out to be some kind of video phone, which Trowa immediately answered in complete silence.

Nicole found to her astonishment that she could hear what was being said on the other end, and that she recognized one of the callers.

"- not really very tall, though. She's quiet, so don't expect to find her by the screaming." Beki explained in her usual fast and random manner. "Oh, and if you haven't found her yet, you'd better quick, 'cause my little Nicole's afraid of clowns. Also, don't let anything purple near her. She and purple don't agree. So when are you bringing her to Q's place?"

"Soon." Trowa said, hanging up.

* * *

"We should call Heero next." Beki said cheerfully. "We really should have called him first, but I forgot there was a chance he'd kill Stephanie. Guess I was really worried about Nicole showing up in a circus. Just goes to show… And you can get in touch with Wufei and Duo right? Because I fear for Wufei's health the first time he calls my sister 'woman.' She'll rip him to shreds, martial artist or no."

Quatre just smiled weakly and dialed Heero's portable unit. His new houseguest seemed to talk continuously, without even pausing for breath, as she marveled over the appliances and electronics and commented repeatedly on things she really shouldn't know.

"And by the way, thanks for the clothes. Mine were soaked so bad… I hope my boots don't shrink…"

The unrelieved black ensemble she'd worn into his pool was drying right now, leaving her to wear his clothes until they were done. Since his pants were a few inches too short for her, she'd chosen a pair of khaki shorts with a wide leather belt and a light blue tanktop that stretched across her chest, revealing the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"I just hope people start showing up here soon; I wanna meet Heero _sooo_ bad… What's he going by these days, anyway? A lot of fans think he's most likely to take the name Odin Lowe now that the war's over, but I think he'll either stay Heero or choose something totally out of the blue, like Michael."

"Um…" Quatre managed before she was off again on another subject, and wandering out of the room to boot. He turned back to his phone, which had finally managed to connect, with a sigh.

* * *

"Probably not for a few days." Hilde sighed, watching something behind the comm. screen. "We can't just up and leave the scrapyard like this."

"I know," Quatre replied sympathetically. "But I really think it's best we get these girls back where they came from. Especially since Miss Beki has decided she has first rights to all my clothing and books."

"Aw, is poor Quatre having girl troubles?" Hilde teased, grinning. "If all else fails, you can always lock her in a closet."

"Hilde!"

* * *

"Looks like the gang's all here!" Duo announced, bounding down from his lookout point above the front doors. "Two cars just pulled up, and 'Fei's in one of 'em!"

Trowa rolled his eyes at the hyperactive brunette's antics. It had been bad enough when it was just Duo; now the two blonds who'd fallen from the sky had joined in. Three teenagers with ADD… his day couldn't possibly get any worse…

"Rebbekha Lynn Herbst!" Someone shouted, and the front door banged open. "Your stupid spell dropped me in a spaceship in my boxers, you bitch!" The dark-haired girl in the doorway yelled, stepping inside and glaring around her. "Now get out here and take what you've got coming!"

"DIANA!" One of the blonds – Beki, if Trowa recalled correctly – exclaimed at the top of her lungs, attacking the newcomer from behind. "Diana, my lovely, lovely, idiotic little sister, did you get to meet Wufei yet? Is he really Sally's partner? They're not doing anything, are they? Have you noticed that we're anime characters now? Isn't that awesome? We have hammer space now! Are you wearing Wufei's uniform!"

With each question, Beki got louder, and the tic in Diana's eye became more pronounced, until finally the younger girl turned and dropped, pinning her sister to the floor.

"Shut up, you crazed freak! Having that ass call me 'woman' all day long is bad enough! I can't handle this!"

"Hello, Diana." Trowa's mystery lady, Nicole, said calmly, as if she was used to such extreme displays. "Sara's in the kitchen."

"Thanks!" Diana exclaimed, suddenly all sweetness and light as she jumped off Beki and skipped off towards the kitchen. How she knew where it was, nobody knows for sure.

"Where did that woman run off to now?" Wufei demanded, stalking into the mansion with Sally Po a step behind him, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"If you mean Diana, she's in the kitchen with Quatre and Sara." Beki answered, picking herself up off the floor. "How many times has she smacked you for calling her 'woman'?"

Sally burst out laughing and Wufei scowled, testifying louder than words that he had indeed been smacked for his chauvinistic ways.

* * *

_Haha! F34r my randomness! I'll try to get chapter two out soon, but I'm not making any promises. You know how I am; burst of words, then nothing for a month or two, then a chapter, then a month of silence, and so on and so forth. Meh._


	2. Gundam Wing, Part 2

_Apparently, no one likes this story… But I like writing it!

* * *

_

"There's something wrong with them." Duo announced, waving a hand in front of the smaller blond girl. "I think they're in shock."

"Ugh." The other blond said, cracking one eye open a millimeter before shutting it tightly again. "G'way, Ben. 'M tired."

"This is all your fault." The dark-haired girl dressed in Wufei's clothing accused, pinning Duo with a glare that rivaled Heero's for intensity. "What in the world possessed you to give them alcohol?"

"It was just a little beer…" Duo protested, sulking slightly. "You had way more…"

"Rebbekha has zero alcohol tolerance, you ass!" She yelled, and both blonds on the floor flinched. "I told you that, she told you that, hell, even _Nicole_ told you that! Now the only person who knows what it takes to get us home is sick with a hangover, and it's _all your fault_!"

"Please, Miss Diana, keep your voice down." Quatre requested soothingly. "We have cures for hangovers in this world; your sister will be fine in an hour or two."

"She'd better be, or _someone_ is going to loose all his hair tonight." Diana threatened with another glare, turning and stomping out of the room.

"She scares me." Duo announced to no one in particular, wincing as he watched Diana shove Trowa out of her path through the open door.

"She's also right." Quatre countered. "You really shouldn't have given them alcohol."

"Aw, man! Not you, too!"

* * *

In the promised two hours, Beki found herself feeling much better. She wasn't on the edge of death anymore, at least, and neither was Sara. Sara was feeling so chipper, in fact, that she was busy burning Duo's ears off for getting her drunk in the first place.

Most of the blond's words were the kind that you just don't say around decent people, and Beki had to wonder where her friend had learned them.

"'Scuse me, Mr. Lowe." She murmured, stepping around Heero and into the main sitting room. Even after finding out that the former Wing Zero pilot had adopted the name Odin Lowe, the teen couldn't stop thinking of him as Heero. Just her basic fangirlish nature, probably. "Hello, Quatre."

"Umm, Miss Beki? Your clothing is dry now." Quatre said by way of greeting. "You don't have to wear mine anymore."

"But I'm not in a dark mood today!" She protested, crossing her arms over the loose pink shirt she'd filched from his closet. "I can't wear black! I need to wear bright colors today, or I'll get depressed!"

"But-" Quatre started, only to be interrupted from behind.

"Just let her have her way." Diana said calmly, jumping the back of the loveseat and plopping down on the cushion. "She'll throw a fit if you don't, and it doesn't really matter if she stole your pants and shirt. At least she's not wearing those ridiculous goggles of yours."

"They are not ridiculous!" Beki protested, shooting past Quatre and jumping on the loveseat next to her sister. "They're very, very important! They're symbolic of his position as the master of the Maganacs! He got them when Rashid let him lead the Maganacs against the allied forces when he ran away! Those goggles are the most important and least ridiculous pair of goggles in Creation!"

Quatre blinked in surprise, wondering how exactly she'd known how he'd gotten the goggles. He'd never even told his fellow pilots that story.

"Freakishness aside," Diana ground out, shoving Beki off the couch with one foot, "how about we figure out how to get us home? I'm tired of wearing that dork's clothes!"

"You could always borrow some of Quatre's." Beki said from the floor, not even bothering to sit up. "They fit me, so they should fit you, too."

"Don't offer other people's things to me." Diana snapped. "Or I'll knock you through a wall."

"I love you, too, Diana."

"Shut up."

* * *

"We need some props before we can do the spell again." Beki stated cheerfully. "Do you have magic shops around here? Voodoo parlors? Pagan supply stores?"

"What?" Odin asked, staring at her, confused. "What the hell is a 'voodoo parlor,' and why would we need to go to one?"

"We need candles." The blond said calmly, ignoring the glares directed at her. "One black and five white candles, twenty polished black stones, salt, rosemary, water, and a clean, waterproof surface to work on. The stones have to all be about the same size and arranged in a pentacle, the water, salt, and rosemary have to be mixed and sprinkled on the stones, and the candles have to be tapers and set up a certain way. Spells like this are very complicated."

"I'll bet." Duo said dryly, yawning. "A buddy of mine sells candles; I'll see about those. One black and five white, right?"

"Yup." Sara said, smiling. "I'm coming with you, though, since I came here just to see you, anyway."

"Who can get us the stones?" Stephanie asked, sitting exactly three feet away from Odin, exactly as he'd instructed.

"I'll handle those." Quatre offered, raising his hand. "I take it you'll be coming with me, Miss Beki?"

"Of course!" The fangirl in question agreed, grinning from ear to ear and nodding vigorously. "And I'm sure you have rosemary, salt, and water, so we don't have to worry about that! Now, what are we having for dinner?"

* * *

Beki slipped inside the Winner mansion, peering cautiously to either side before stepping in and quietly closing the door. Moving as silently as she could, she walked across the giant entryway to the stairs, took them two at a time, and ran the rest of the way to the room she was staying in.

All her furtiveness was in vain, however, for Sara and Nicole were waiting on her bed.

"Did you have fun?" Sara asked, bouncing to her feet and snatching the suitcase Beki was carrying out of the taller blond's hands.

"Wait, Sara! That's my stuff!"

"Ooh, did Blondie take you on a shopping spree?" Sara teased, popping the suitcase open and spilling its contents onto the bedspread. "What's this? Clothing? Books? _Shoes_? Where did he take you, the mall?"

"Well… yeah…" Beki managed uncomfortably. "But we did get the stones…"

"See, if I'd known there were shopping sprees involved, I would have chosen the rich one, too."

"Hey! Don't even joke like that! That's like me saying I'd've picked Duo if I'd known there would be beer involved!"

"At least you're not with the puppy killer anymore."

"_Heero is not a puppy killer!_" Beki protested tearfully, collapsing to the floor and sobbing into her hands. "And he feels bad enough already without you insensitive dolts who care more about the dog than the people rubbing it in! That puppy's owner died, too, you know! And so did everyone else in the building! So forget the damned puppy!"

"Alright, already! Yeesh!" Sara exclaimed, shoving assorted piece of clothing back into the suitcase and rolling her eyes. "Forget I said anything!"

* * *

Beki puttered about the recently-cleaned storage closet designated as the spell room, making sure everything was perfect. She had her suitcase full of Quatre-funded shopping spree, as well as a few other… souvenirs. She had all the components for the spell. She had several pictures of the pilots, alone and in various groups. She was as ready to go home as she would ever be.

"You guys can come in now!" She called, as the door opened across from her. As her sister and friends piled in, she noted that she wasn't the only one with luggage; Sara in particular had a very large navy duffel stuffed with presents, souvenirs, and several things poor Duo was going to miss soon.

"Is everything in order, ladies?" Quatre asked from the hall, poking his head inside.

"Umm… just one more thing real quick, and we'll be out of your hair." Beki spoke up, stepping carefully to the door while the other girls arranged themselves in the circle. She stopped in front of Quatre, took a deep breath, grabbed his shoulders, and kissed him square on the lips.

"That'llbeallitwasnicemeetingyouwe'llbeleavingnowgottago!" She exclaimed in one breath, blushing furiously as she pushed him back into the hall, slammed the door, and scampered to the middle of the circle to the faint sound of Duo yelling 'Q-man got kissed! Q-man got kissed!'

* * *

"Ack!" Beki yelped, staring down. Just what she needed; another pool. "Not agaaaiiiinnnn!" The blond wailed as she plunged into a strange pool for the second time that week.

* * *

_So, where should they go next? Suggestions are appreciated! Please review! First person to review gets a cameo appearance in the next chapter!_


	3. Trigun

To NNNNN- Trigun it is! Yay! Vash! Hey, if Knives's last name is Millions, and Knives and Vash are brothers, does that make Vash's name Vash Millions? Vash 'the Stampede' Millions. Hell of a letterhead there… Oh, well! Since you're the first reviewer, N Personator, You get a cameo in this chapter!

To Maeleana- All fangirls share the same basic personality traits and can be divided into two groups- shy and loud. I'm loud. What about you?

To Black Spell- Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with Knights of the Zodiac or Saint Seiya, although I will keep Yu Yu Hakusho in mind for the next jump! Thanks for the suggestions!

* * *

A very soaked, very pissed, Beki finally made it to shore. What she'd thought was a pool turned out to be a semi-lake in the middle of an oasis. The spell was supposed to take her _home_, dammit, not dump her in the middle of the desert! How the hell could it confuse her bedroom for a giant natural oven?

"This is karma, isn't it?" The blond muttered, heaving her thankfully waterproof suitcase onto the sand and immediately stripping off her shirt. "This is because I kissed him, isn't it? Because I gave into my fangirlish urges and kissed him! Damn you, uncontrollable childish side!"

* * *

"Um…"

"Uh…"

"Where am I?"

"In my hotel room. You broke the roof. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sara said, standing slowly, testing for broken bones. "I'm intact, anyway. Who are you? You look kind of familiar."

"The name's Nicholas D. Wolfwood, traveling priest, at your service."

Someone started pounding on the door, causing girl and priest to jump a combined height of at least eight feet. Sara had a foot or two on Nick.

"Mr. Wolfwood, sir, is everything all right in there?" A female voice called from the hallway. "We just heard a really big crash, and there's a strange girl in Mr. Vash's room, and I was just wondering-"

The door banged open, revealing one Stephanie, hair full of splinters and dust, clothing ripped in places, a small cut on one cheek.

"Dammit, it's only you." The younger girl growled, kicking the door. "I was hoping Beki wound up in here, so I could clobber her. At least last time, I showed up _under_ the ceiling, and I actually knew who the people were!"

"Yes, that would be nice." Sara agreed, nodding calmly. "But since I'm _not_ Beki and we _don't_ know who these people are, let's eat."

* * *

_Why me?_ Diana wondered to herself, absently stroking the black cat in her lap. _Why do I always get dragged into these things? Just once, can't I be left out of my sister's crazy ideas?_

The small girl was seated cross-legged on a table in the corner of the barroom she'd stumbled into, glaring dual-colored fire at anyone who so much as glanced at her. She'd done a good job of scaring the natives witless without actually doing anything, and was grateful that they maintained their distance.

_This time, I really am going to kill that bitch.

* * *

_

Nicole blinked. She blinked again. And, since it seemed the most sensible course of action, she kept on blinking.

Her continual rapid eye-batting, however, seemed to be making the man in front of her very nervous. Apparently, he just wasn't used to so much blinking.

"Okay…" The man said finally, standing up and dusting himself off. "Who are you?"

"Nicole." Nicole answered, still blinking like the good multitasker she was.

"Aaand how did you wind up falling from the sky?" The man continued, unnerved further by Nicole's silent ways.

"Beki's spell." She informed him, leaving off blinking to take in her new surroundings.

The small bag of things she'd acquired during her visit with Trowa was only a few feet away, still closed and none the worse for wear. There was what looked like a bar of some kind not far off, the wood glowing warmly in the sunlight. It was awfully hot, especially in her jacket and jeans. She absently unzipped the blue nylon garment and removed it, folding it and placing it on the sand next to her. Nicole was not one to be thrown into a panic by unfamiliar settings at all, so she just sat there and started blinking again.

* * *

"Why you?" Beki demanded, glaring up at her new companion while pulling a tank top over her head. "I don't even like you! You're a horrible villain!"

"I'm a what?" He asked, looking confused.

"You heard!" She snapped with a slight British accent, pulling a pair of sunglasses that fit over her prescription lenses out of her suitcase and putting them on. "You have no real reason for being a villain, except you think you're better than humanity, which is really a very stupid reason. If you're so much better than us, why waste your time trying to kill us? That never really made sense to me. Hell, the whole _concept_ of Knives never made sense to me."

"What _are_ you babbling about?" Knives demanded, pulling himself up to his considerable full height. "You're not making any sense whatsoever, and I'm perilously close to shooting you."

Beki, however, wasn't even paying attention to him anymore. Instead, she was sitting on top of her suitcase, back to him, slathering sunscreen on her arms with no thought whatsoever to where it had come from.

"Why, you…" Knives got angry, which is really what Knives does best, and pulled his gun. With all the hesitation of someone squashing a cockroach, he planted two bullets in the back of the girl's head, smiling as she pitched forward into the sand. One less annoying human.

"Goddammit, you got blood on my shirt! I _just_ changed, you jackass!"

Knives stared. Here was a lowly human, a frail and pitiful creature with no right to live and two bullets in her brain, yelling at him for getting blood on her shirt.

"Hey, dumbass!" She yelled, breaking him out of his shock. "Turn around! Now that you've got blood all over my shirt, I have to change again, and I'm not very well gonna do it in front of you! Yeesh!"

Knives complied, his devious little mind coming up with all sorts of possibilities involving a girl who couldn't die.

* * *

N Personator, as the author had dubbed her, slipped silently into the bar, weaving her way inconspicuously between tables. He was right there in the back of the room. He couldn't escape her.

Once she was near enough to see the table clearly, she was surprised to see two faces she didn't recognize. Both faces belonged to young girls in their early to mid teens; one was thin and blond with an angular face, and the other was more babyish with long dark hair.

_I don't remember seeing them in the show._ She thought to herself, confused for a moment. Then she shrugged, dismissing them as minor characters without even names.

Having solved her mental dilemma, N Personator returned to her mission, took a deep breath, and glomped Vash the Stampede.

After a suitable length of time, she released the blond gunman with a squeal and ran back out the door into the burning light of Gunsmoke's twin suns.

* * *

_He's following me…_ Beki snarled silently. _Why the hell is he following me? Okay, give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe we're just heading in the same direction. Does he really have to walk that close? He's really creeping me out. I hope he doesn't try to shoot me again. That really hurt._ Even in her thoughts, the blond had a marked tendency to ramble, although it didn't annoy her the way it annoyed other people.

Returning to her first train of thought, she veered off her course, turning in a wide arch and heading back in the direction of the oasis she'd landed in.

Sure enough, Knives turned around as well.

"_Why the hell are you following me?_" Beki yelled, turning around and stamping her foot in a childish show of rage.

"Because I feel like it." Knives said with a shrug. "Not like you have any right to question my motives."

"God, you're such as ass!" She screamed. "I cannot believe I ever _once_ thought you were cute as a kid!"

"How would you know what I looked like as a child?"

"None of your damned business! Now get the hell away from me, you humanoid freak!"

"Calm down, Beki." A voice behind the irate fangirl said, and both blonds turned sharply to the owner.

"_Mom?_" Beki demanded, almost dropping her suitcase. "What are you doing here?"

"It's almost dinnertime." Leeann answered evenly, as if jumping into the universe of what was supposedly just a TV show was an everyday occurrence. "Let's go get your friends."

"But-" Beki protested in a fit of rebellion, not wanting to leave even if Knives _was_ her only company.

"Now." Leeann said in the 'I'm-your-mother-and-you're-going-to-listen-to-me-whether-you-like-it-or-not' voice that all moms have and use when brute force just won't work.

"Fine." Beki sighed, wilting under that single word. "But first-"

"And you!" Leeann interrupted, stalking past her daughter to stand in front of a very surprised Knives. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of clothing? Not only did you shoot my daughter with the intent of killing her, but you shot her while she was wearing silk! There's going to be a bloodstain on that blouse no matter what we do!"

"Umm…" Was all Knives managed before woman and child disappeared, leaving the archvillian of Trigun alone in the desert, talking to himself.

* * *

"I see Vash! I see Vash!" Beki yelled excitedly, jumping up and down and pointing at one Vash the Stampede. The blond was currently involved in running frantically around the town square, a group of children right on his heels. A familiar banner of dark hair led the pack, yelling something about catching the villain and other heroic nonsense.

Deciding it would be much more fun to interrupt the game than to join it, Beki dropped her suitcase and tackled Vash, sending him head over heels into a building with her on top of him.

"Vash! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you! You're my favorite! MY absolute favorite! This is a dream come true! A total dream come true! Where's Nick?"

"A… at the hotel…" Vash managed to choke out just before two bodies landed on top of Beki, and therefore on top of Vash.

"Beki, you idiot!" Stephanie yelled, smacking her friend upside the head. "Where the hell are we?"

"Beckers, where have you been?" Sara demanded at the same time, putting the older blond in a chokehold. "We've been waiting all day for you!"

"I think your friend is dying." Leeann commented from next to the pile in a very motherly hint to get off their human cushion.

"I think you're right." Wolfwood agreed from the other side of the stack. "Where did you come from?"

"My house." Leeann replied, pulling a piece of paper and pen out of nowhere and holding them out. "Can I have your autograph?"

"Huh?"

* * *

"Do we really have to go?" Sara asked, hefting the duffel bag she'd borrowed (without permission) from Duo a little higher on her shoulder. "I kind of like that Vash guy. He's funny."

"Yes." Leeann said. "Are we all here?"

"Yup."

"Yes."

"I am."

"I _hope_ I am…"

"Then let's go home, girls."

* * *

_No, this is not the end of the adventure. This was just my mom taking us home in time for dinner. We will go elsewhere, we just have to do so without my mom finding out…_

_My mother's part in this story was her idea. She's a wellspring of motherly knowledge, and she'll make a great plot device down the road, ne?_

_And I've decided that the first person to review for every chapter gets a cameo in the next chapter. So review, people!_


	4. Fruits Basket, Part 1

To Black Spell- Woot! Reviews! People are reviewing! dances Sorry about getting confused on the whole Saint Seiya/Knights of the Zodiac thing. You gets da cameo in this chapter!

To Maeleana- Do you have any idea how hard it is to remember how to spell your name? Although it's a very pretty name. My mom wanted in so she could get Wolfwood's autograph. I think my insanity's rubbing off on her. I was going to go with Fruits Basket this time around, but it'll definitely be InuYasha next, and Sailor Moon after that, so while I want you to keep suggesting shows, I'm set for the next three worlds.

To ROGMethos- Funky name. I'm glad you like the story so far; it's a total trip to write it, and it's a trip to read, too, apparently. Here, have a cookie! gives cookie

To Cempire- You had me worried there for a sec, which I'm sure was your intention all along… to trick poor Satanira and make her think you hated her story… /.u Sniff…

* * *

"_The touch of a hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall… you say it best when you say nothing at all…_"

"Shut up." Diana muttered crossly, glaring over the top of her book.

"No." Beki responded, sticking her tongue out at her little sister. "You wanted to come in my room, so you have to put up with my singing. So there."

"Can we at least listen to music _I _like?" Diana demanded, scowling. "I hate country music."

"Then get out of my room."

"Make me."

"_Moooom_! Tell Diana to get out of my _roooom_!"

"Diana, quit bugging your sister; Beki, quit yelling."

* * *

"Someone want to explain why we're all sitting in the bathroom instead of in our classrooms?"

"We're skipping.Obviously. Pass me that stone over there, will you?"

Sara did as she was told, still grumbling to herself. "Why are we trying the spell at school?" She asked.

"Because I don't want Diana in on this one." Beki explained. "We're mad at each other. Besides, would you rather go to class or see Bishies?"

"See Bishies." Jackie spoke up, grinning. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Oh, it will." Sara said, scowling. "And it'll probably drop me in the middle of a scrap yard again!"

"At least you didn't go into a pool fully clothed." Beki retorted. "And poor Nicole, showing up in a circus tent like that…"

"Can we get on with this, please?" Chrissie spoke up with a put-upon sigh. "I start, right?"

"Go ahead."

* * *

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, _ow_!" Beki exclaimed, landing with a loud thump on the ground. "Why, dammit? Why couldn't I land in another pool?"

The poor suffering blond climbed slowly to her feet, looking around and rubbing her backside. She appeared to be in a private garden of some sort…

"My, aren't you a strange one." A voice behind her stated, and she turned as quickly as she could given the circumstance.

"Aw, man, not you, too!"

* * *

"Who the hell are you?"

"That's my line!"

"Shut up." Sara muttered darkly, climbing to her feet. At least she hadn't landed in a scrapyard again. Instead, she seemed to be on the roof of a rather tall building.

"What did you just say?" Her companion demanded, his red eyes flashing angrily.

"I just told you to shut up." Sara repeated. "Now stop yelling while I try to figure out what to do here."

"Why, you-"

"If you're not going to shut up, can you at least quiet down?" A third voice spoke up, and two people climbed into view.

"Hey, Nicole," Sara said absently, deep in thought.

"Hey, Sara," Nicole replied, watching as Sara's red-eyed boy and her own gray-haired one started bickering like a married couple. "Any idea where we are?"

"Nope. Seen Beckers?"

"Nu-uh."

* * *

"Why, hello there."

Chrissy looked up from her position on the ground, surprised to find someone else with her.

"And what would a lovely young lady such as yourself be doing flat on her back in the middle of my yard?" The speaker, a tall man with dark hair and strange eyes asked, smiling.

"I'm married." Chrissy said, climbing to her feet. "And if you really must know, my wife and I cast a spell to bring us here. We were non-specific as to landings."

"Then please, come to my house, and we can contact this wife who so carelessly let her beautiful spouse so far from her sights."

"Stop hitting on me before I smack you."

* * *

"Wow…" Jackie whispered in awe, completely in love with the sight before her. "I wouldn't believe this if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Yes, I am rather astonishing, aren't I?" The small white snake in front of her agreed proudly. "Or perhaps you are referring to my sudden shifting of form, which is quite astounding in and of itself. But you could not have possibly believed that someone as extraordinary as myself did not have at least one special and possibly mythical quality!"

"You're full of yourself, aren't you?" Jackie interrupted, leaning forward until her nose almost touched the snake's snout. "What's your name?"

"Souma Ayame, at your service." The snake informed her with a bow. "And you, my lovely mystery lady?"

"The name's Jackie." Jackie said, returning the snake's bow just before a muffled boom shook the room.

* * *

"Why me?" Beki asked the sky. "Why me? I only kissed him once! That accounts for one stupid villain! Why two? _What the hell did I do wrong?_"

"And who is this forbidden person you kissed?"

"Shut up, Akito-san. I'm not in the mood for you right now."

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, my friend. You haven't yet told me your name."

"Oh, drop the nice act already, you freak." Beki snapped, glaring at Akito. "We both know you're a real one-of-a-kind bastard, so let's not pretend to be a sweet old guy here, okay?"

"Now, that's hardly nice, my dear."

"_Stop calling me pet names!_"

"Akito-san, are you all right?" A new voice asked, and a door slid open. "I heard shouting."

"That was my rather unusual visitor here, Hatori." Akito told the newcomer.

"I wasn't aware that you had any visitors." Hatori said, coming into view, and Beki's poor fangirlish heart melted right then and there.

"She dropped in rather unexpectedly." Akito explained. "I'm afraid she hasn't yet told me her name, however, so I can't-"

"Hatori-sensei!" Beki exclaimed, launching herself at the stoic doctor with a squeal of delight. "It's you! It's really, really-"

BOOM.

* * *

"Ano..."

"Honda-san, Allow me to introduce Nicole-san and Sara-san. They... dropped in on us earlier today."

"It's very nice to meet you, Nicole-san, Sara-san!" The pigtailed brunette called Honda-san exclaimed cheerfully, bowing.

"Pleased to meet you, Honda-san." Sara replied, bowing. "I may have no idea where we are, but it's sure nice to meet so many helpful people. Even if a few are sourpusses." The blond said, glaring out of the corner of her eye at her red-eyed, orange-haired escort.

"Shut it, woman." The orange-haired boy snapped. "If damn Yuki wants to be all gentlemanly and nice and crap, that's his business. Don't expect me to play along."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Sara said, rolling her eyes. "Now, what say we forget Tangerine Head here and go do something? You're supposed to be getting out in a hot minute here, right?"

"Yes." Yuki said in his usual quiet manner. "In fact, we should be being released any moment now. Would you ladies like us to walk you home?"

"I think America is a bit far to walk in one afternoon." Sara informed him, smiling.

"Is something wrong, Nicole-san?" Honda-san asked curiously, as Nicole was staring very intently at Yuki's face.

"Sara, come look at him for a minute, will you?" Nicole asked quietly, gesturing at her friend. "What's wrong with his eyes?"

"I don't see anything." Sara said, leaning close for a better look. "Oh, I see! They're purple!"

"Oh." Nicole said with a sigh. "That explains it, then."

"Explains what?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Honda-san. It's just a little problem Nicole has." Sara explained. "Now, how about we go to your house, Yuki, and see about finding our friends?"

* * *

"So you make clothes, huh?" Jackie commented, poking through the racks of dresses and uniforms. "Interesting."

"Of course!" Ayame exclaimed proudly. "Such an interesting person as myself could never hold down a mundane and uninteresting job such as that which requires one to blend in or sit still!"

"You're a very loud person, did you know that?"

"Why, Jackie-san, dear, if you wish me to moderate the volume of my voice, you only need say so!" Ayame assured her, getting louder with every audible exclamation point. "I would only be too happy to adjust my habits to suit your need, for I am a generous and caring person who also happens to be stunningly handsome, talented and intelligent! You just say the word, and I will do anything you command!"

"Shut up, then."

* * *

"You really are a perv, aren't you?" Chrissie snapped, smacking her host for what had to be the tenth time in as many minutes. "Keep your greasy mitts off me, before I sic my wife on you."

"Now, now, Chrissie-chan, that's unfair! I am but a humble writer! Defenseless! Without arms! Would you really employ your vicious wife to do me injury?"

"Yes. And stop calling me Chrissie-chan; it's annoying."

* * *

_And thus ends Fruits Basket, part 1. Hope you all enjoyed it! And BlackSpell, your cameo will be in the next chapter. The first person to review after the Fruits Basket arc will get a part in the InuYasha arc, okay?_


	5. Fruits Basket, Part 2

To Black Spell- ... Part of your review is missing...

To Mikol- Okay. You do that. Have fun!

To Duofan69- Yeah! Nobody asked you, Wuffers! I'm afraid I've never seen and/or read Akira, although I am doing InuYasha next.

To Dreammistress Jade- I don't think you quite understand the system here; the first person to review for the last chapter of the Fruits Basket arc gets a cameo in the InuYasha arc. The first person to review for the last chapter of the InuYasha arc gets a cameo in the Sailor Moon arc. So on and so forth. I would just love to do a Shaman King arc, but I've only read part of the manga in _Shonen Jump_; I never got my hands on volumes 1-4, 9, and 22 and up. But I have read enough to know that Ren-chan does indeed need a glomping, and Faust would kill me if he knew what I want to do to him.

* * *

"You don't seem very surprised." Akito commented, watching as Beki cuddled the tiny sea creature in her hands.

"Why would I be?" Beki responded. "I'd be surprised if _you_ turned into a seahorse, but Hatori-sensei's supposed to. He _is_ the Dragon, after all, and what else would the Dragon turn into? Besides a real dragon, of course. I've always wondered why a seahorse. It could be for convenience's sake; I don't know, I don't really care. He's still adorable!"

"I see..."

* * *

"Hey, Sara, Nicole." Chrissie said, calmly smacking Shigure again. "Who're your friends?"

"This babe here is Honda Tohru." Sara said, patting the top of Tohru's head. "Tangerine Head over there is Souma Kyo. This dudeman with eyes Nicole can't see is Souma Yuki. I think they're related."

"No, really?" Chrissie demanded sarcastically. "Has anyone seen my wife and/or daughter?"

"Nope."

"I haven't."

"Damn. I need Beki to kill this pervert for me."

* * *

"Is he always this loud?" Jackie asked, adjusting her kitty ears one last time. "Or is he trying real hard just for me?"

"Oh, Ayame-san is always energetic." Ayame's assistant Mine said cheerfully. "I think it's one of his best qualities."

"Well, modesty sure isn't one of them." Jackie grumbled, surveying her new outfit in the full-length mirror set into the wall. "How do I look?"

"You look wonderful, Jackie-san!" Mine exclaimed, flashing a bright smile at the younger girl. "You look like you were born to wear that tail!"

"I've had practice." Jackie said absently, watching the black cat tail attached to the underside of her skirt twitch back and forth. "Although I've never had one so well-made before."

"Just another example of Ayame-san's magnificent workmanship." Mine smiled, leading Jackie out of the dressing room. "Now you just wander around and straighten the shelves for a while, okay?"

"Whatever." Jackie agreed, turning and wandering off between the stacks, the cat bell around her neck jingling with every step.

* * *

"Now, I'm going to put you down and turn around so you can get dressed when you turn back into a guy, okay, Hatori-sensei?" Beki said, reluctantly setting the poor seahorse down on his clothes and turning around. "You go ahead and take your time. I'm in no rush. Actually, I kind of am. But I can wait. I'm actually pretty good at waiting, like Yuki-kun with the fast dressing. I guess it's because I have to wait so often, what with-"

BOOM.

* * *

The fanfic reviewer known as Black Spell wandered aimlessly down the street, wondering where exactly she was and how exactly she'd gotten there. She didn't recall touching any magical transporters or Portkeys, nor was there any sort of magical or mythical being in her recent memory. But she had to have gotten here - wherever here was - somehow, even if she was coming up blank at the moment.

"I know!" She said out loud, remembering something possibly important. "This must be my cameo in Satanira's fic! And that means there's a Souma around here somewhere..." The reviewer's face split in a slightly devious grin as she scanned the crowd around her for familiar faces, and the natives nearest her edged nervously away.

There! Was that... it was! It was! Souma Hatsuharu, not six feet in front of her! She'd recognize that hair anywhere!

"Hatsuharu-kun!" She yelled, shoving her way through the thick crowd towards him. "Hatsuharu-kun!"

Hatsuharu turned to blink at her, looking adorably confused.

"Do I... know you?" He asked finally.

"No, we've never met." Black Spell said, feeling perilously close to fainting. "It's just... Well, I know _of_ you, and I've always wanted to meet you, and... well... can I have your autgraph?"

"Um... yes?"

* * *

"Oh, wow! You've sure got a lot of clothes, Akito-san!" Beki exclaimed. "Do you have any Western clothes, or do you just wear traditional? Hey, this is cute! It's got little birds on the hem!" The blond fangirl paused in her systematic search of Akito's wardrobe to hold up a light blue robe that did, indeed, have little silver bird embroidered on the hem. "You're so lucky to be able to afford all this. I can't afford fancy stuff like this; I just get jeans and shirts. All of my dresses are secondhand. Well, except the ones Quatre bought me. That was really nice of him, to buy me all that stuff when he knows I'll probably never be able to pay him back, unless payback includes candlelight, massage oil, and a big bed. If I have to loose my virginity, I wouldn't mind doing it with Quatre. He's so nice, and he'd- wait a minute... I just said something embarrassing, didn't I?"

"Not at all." Akito assured her with a smile. "Please, continue, Beki-chan. What about Quatre?"

"Don't call me Beki-chan like we're friends." Beki snapped. "And that's Quatre-_san_ to you. Show some respect. Quatre's twice the man you could ever hope to be. Is this a wedding dress? Akito-san, why do you have a wedding dress?"

"For my bride, of course."

"Ha! Like you'll ever get married. No self-respecting woman would be caught dead _dating_ you, let alone marrying you. I bet you wear this for Shigure-san, the pervert. Unless it's traditional to keep a wedding dress in your bottom drawer. Which isn't even really a wedding dress. It's just white. You really like messing with people's heads, don't you? Can we go to Shigure-san's house, Hatori-sensei? I'm sure at least one of the girls wound up there. Probably more, what with the over-abundance of Bishies, live-in and visiting."

* * *

"The real question is, where did Beckers end up?" Sara said from her place half under the table. "We kind of need her to get home, you know."

"Well, so far, we've all ended up with guys who are main characters, right?" Chrissie reasoned. "So we just have to figure out who the other big players here are, and then check them out one by one. We're bound to find Beki that way. Jackie, too."

"Oh, Chrissie-chan, you're so smart!" Shigure exclaimed happily. "And I know just who to check with first!"

"Who?" Nicole asked, peeking out of hiding behind Kyo; Yuki's eye were beginning to creep her out.

"Why, Aya, of course!" Shigure answered, reaching for the phone, while poor Yuki's spirit just up and left.

* * *

"Why, yes, as a matter of fact, we have had a rather unique visitor!" Ayame exclaimed cheerfully. "She is quite an attraction for the customers; they do so adore her! Her hair? Short and curly, and the most delightful shade of brown! You should see her, 'Gure! My clothing fits her so well, and with a minimum of tailoring! Bring her by? Now? But 'Gure, business is booming! We can't possibly leave until closing time!"

* * *

"Phone!" Beki exclaimed excitedly, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Can I answer it, Hatori-sensei? Can I?"

Ignoring the hyperactive blond, Hatori freed one hand from the task of driving and extracted his cell phone from his coat pocket, answering on the fifth ring.

"Mushi mushi?"

"'Tori-san, you'll never guess what happened earlier today!"

"A mysterious teenaged girl fell out of the sky."

"Aw, 'Tori, you're no fun. Does that mean you got one, too?"

"Yes. I'm bringing her to your house now. How many have already arrived?"

"Three. One's with Aya, but he refuses to let her leave before closing. Would you mind swinging by his shop for me? Chrissie-chan is threatening bodily harm."

"I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Chrissie, dearheart!"

"Beki, darling!"

"Oh, how I missed you while you were away! Did Shigure do anything to you? He wasn't inappropriate, was he? Did he harrass you? Molest you? Touch you? If he so much as laid a finger on you, you just say so, and I'll rip his sorry novelist hide to shreds!"

Chrissie gave Shigure a decidedly evil smile, and the writer began looking for emergency exits.

"He wasn't _too_ bad, I guess." Chrissie said finally. "You don't have to kill him or anything, just make him suffer a bit. You're the only one who's allowed to bend me backwards over park benches."

"Damn straight." Beki agreed, grinning. "So you know what? I _won't_ hug him. I'll hug Kyo-kun instead!" The blond bounced away from her wife and jumped her victim, transforming him into a cuddly orange cat. Kind of.

"Dammit, woman, let me go!" Said cat yelled, trying to squirm out of the fangirl's grasp. "I said let me go!"

"Nope!" Beki said happily, petting Kyo and sighing contentedly. "I'm gonna hug you and squeez you and pet you and love you until Shigure turns green with envy!"

"He's green already!"

Shigure, while not quite green, was indeed envious, weeping openly as the blond fangirl continued slowly squeezing the life out of his orange-haired relative despite said relative's increasingly frantic attempts at escape.

"By the way," Beki said suddenly. "Where's Jackie? Did Hatori-sensei leave to go get her? I hope so; seeing my lovely wife is a joy, indeed, but if we had the whole family together, it would be Heaven! Although Jackie and Chrissie are really only small part of the whole family. Jackie's got about 50 older brothers and sisters, after all, but it would be very hard to bring them all with us. We'd be bound to leave someone behind if we tried. Oh, sorry, Kyo-kun." The babbling blond released the Cat, whose orange face had a decidedly blue tint to it.

"I'm... gonna... kill you..." Kyo panted, crawling slowly away from Beki with fury in his little kitty eyes.

"I'm not sticking around that long." Beki replied smoothly. "Our mission here is accomplished; once Jackie gets here, we'll be heading home, and you won't have to put up with us anymore."

"Thank Kami for that."

"Can it, Tangerine Head."

"Speaking of Hatori," Sara interrupted, heading off the impending catfight, if you'll forgive the pun, "did he do anything to you?"

"You mean like try to erase my memory? It didn't work too well for some reason; I still remember everything." Beki paused, then added with a rueful grin, "Or at least part of it."

* * *

"Are all parties present and accounted for?" Beki asked, grinning. "Sara?"

"Here." Sara sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Nicole?"

"Present..." Nicole said absently, busily looking everywhere but at Yuki's eyes.

"Jackie?"

"Here!"

"Chrissie?"

"You know I am."

"Then let's get moving, shall we?"

* * *

_Bai-bai to Fruits Basket... On to InuYasha! First person to review for this chapter gets cameo'd! Who will be stuck with who? Which InuYasha bishie will find himself with two fangirls? Where's Leeann? How will Diana react to being left behind?_

_Find out in the next crazy installment of Attack of the Rabid Fangirls!_


	6. InuYasha, Part 1

To Dreammistress Jade- You are indeed the first reviewer! Yeah, I thought Chrissie might confuse people... In the high school I went to when I started working on this - and the school where parts of it will take place - people take the clic thing one step further by forming 'families.' I acquired a mother, a father, a wife, three husbands, and fifty-odd kids, not to mention my brothers, sisters, cousins, and grandkids. I'm probably related to about half my school in that sense... o.O You... I haven't read that far! I'm only on book 10! How dare you ruin that for me? I'm gonna go cry as soon as I'm done here now. As for Yuki's eyes... they're purple, that's what's wrong with them. My friend Nicole, for some unknown reason, has trouble seeing the color purple. Anything purple looks hazy and out of focus to her. Imagine our horror when her mom wanted to paint her _room_ purple! She'd get seasick just sitting on her bed!

To Bishounen Lover- Hi! I'm waving, even though you can't see me! Anyway, as I explained to Dreammistress Jade last chapter, in order to score a cameo, you have to be the first person to review for the last installment of an anime arc. I probably won't be doing Yu-Gi-Oh, Duel Masters, or Beyblade; I've never heard of Duel Masters, and I was never very fond of Yu-Gi-Oh or Beyblade, although my sister loves the last one. I'm probably going to stick with anime I've seen - since that gives us a dozen or so worlds to visit - but I'll be sure to ask you for help if I'm feeling adventurous and want to go somewhere I've never heard of, okay?

To NNNNN- Yeah, I remember you. Miroku will get his, don't worry. My wife and daughter are with him- he'll definitely get what's coming to him.

To Chrissie- CHRISSIE! (gropes)

* * *

Thud.

Thud.

"Itaaaiiiii..."

"Ow."

"Nicole? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Beki?"

"Yup. Where are we, do you think? This definitely isn't the bathroom."

"It's your spell." Nicole said, and Beki could _hear_ her shrug, though she couldn't see the action, due to the near-perfect darkness of wherever the hell they were. "If anyone should know, it's you."

"Well, wherever we are, let's get out of here. This place stinks."

* * *

"Dammit..." Sara groaned, sitting up despite the screaming protests movement sent down her back and legs. "That hurt..."

"Hey, are you all right?" A voice asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"No, dammit..." The blond managed, biting her lip to keep from screaming. "I think I broke my back..."

"Oh, man... In that case, we should get you to the village."

"Yeah." Sara agreed faintly, her vision graying for a second before clearing again. "The village."

* * *

"Are we seeing what I think we're seeing?" Jackie asked, fiddling with the cat bell around her neck.

"Depends on what you think we're seeing." Chrissie shrugged. "If you think we're seeing InuYasha and Miroku having a catfight, then yes, we're seeing what you think we're seeing."

"Just as long as I'm not hallucinating. I thought I was loosing it in the last world when that dude turned into a snake."

"Did he really?"

"Yup. A little white snake. He was actually kind of cute."

"You _would_ think a snake was cute." Chrissie snorted. "Looks like Kagome broke up the fight. What say we go down and introduce ourselves?"

"Sounds good to me." Jackie agreed. "We'll be here all day if we wait for them to notice us."

* * *

"Whoa..." Beki groaned, swaying on her feet. "I don't feel so good... Vertigo! Vertigo! Somebody get me a wall!"

Without a word, Nicole grabbed Beki's arm and pulled the blond over against the wall of the tunnel the two were in. She made sure the older girl wasn't in danger of falling over before letting go.

"Thank you, my lovely Nicole." Beki said, closing her eyes and clinging to the rough surface. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd manage somehow." Nicole said with a shrug. "Let's go; I think we're almost out of here."

"That's good." Beki murmured, pushing off the wall. "So let's figure out where we are so we can find the others and get out of here. I've got a bad feeling about these caves."

"Yeah." Nicole said evenly. "Maybe they're the ones giving you bad vibes?" She continued, pointing to several men a few yards ahead of them.

"Probably." Beki agreed faintly. "Here I go... Nap time. Catch me, Nicole." Her warning delivered, the blond's eyes rolled back in her skull, and she collapsed.

* * *

"Miroku, if you don't back away from my daughter real quick-like, I am going to hurt you." Chrissie warned, glaring at the overly-amorous monk. "And if you even _think_ of asking either one of us to bear your child, I will _kill_ you." She added for good measure.

"Forgive me, my lady; I am weak in the face of such temptation as your beauty inspires."

"Save it, buddy. I'm not in the mood to be flattered, and it won't help, anyway."

Jackie snorted at the expression on Miroku's face, causing InuYasha to jump and move away from her. It was the short brunette's turn to pout now, as she'd been mere inches from finally being able to tweak the half-demon's ears.

"So you guys got anything to eat around here?"

* * *

"Oh, wow, that hurt." Sara said, wincing slightly. "If I never have to go through _that_ again, I can die a happy woman."

"Yeah, the healer in this village is kind of rough." Shippo agreed from his perch on the blond's shoulder. "But he knows what he's doing, which is why I brought you to him."

"Thanks, kiddo." Sara said with a grin. "Now I need to see about finding the other girls and getting a few autographs. I wonder who wound up where?"

"Well, from what you've told me, at least one of them's probably with InuYasha, Miroku and Kagome. We should go see."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Beki yawned and stretched, feeling wonderfully rested, even if her bed was unusually hard this morning. She idly wondered if she had school, and if so, which block schedule it was.

She opened her eyes, blinking sleepily. She'd fallen asleep with her glasses on, apparently, and returned them to their proper position, yawning again.

"I must be dreaming still." She commented upon seeing who was watching her. "Where else but in dreams would my beloved Kouga be watching me sleep?"

Someone cleared their throat not far away, and Beki glanced towards the sound. She eyed Nicole suspiciously, her focus giving her mind a chance to actually wake up.

"I _fainted?_" She demanded with a dismayed yelp, and groaned when Nicole nodded. "Diana is never to know that, am I understood?"

"On my honor as a victim of your insanity." Nicole promised quietly, placing a hand over her heart for affect.

"Gee, _that_ makes me feel better." Beki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Ne, Kouga-sama, you know of a half-demon named InuYasha, right? We need to find him. Can I have your autograph?"

* * *

_As I was writing this, I remembered something important… I can't stand InuYasha! The next bit'll probably be just as slow in coming. Take my advice and never write about a show that annoys the hell out of you. And steer clear of prophecies, too. Boy, are they a bitch._


	7. InuYasha, Part 2

To Dreammistress Jade – I'm sorry; I'm a horrible fic author, aren't I? I promise, as soon as I finish this story, I'll commit ritual suicide to atone for my heinous crime. I hate spoilers. Please don't give me anymore, or at least warn me, okay?

To LadyFireCat and WhoKilledBigBird – Thank you, I will! And thanks for reviewing!

To Mikol – No, I'm sorry, I don't. InuYasha just got too… tedious for me. And no fair threatening me with my own signature weapon! The spell-checker wanted to change InuYasha to Natasha, for some odd reason.

To KamiKaze no Kage – If this is the first crazy fic you've found on this site, you must not be looking very hard.

* * *

"She left me _behind?_" Diana screamed, throwing something else against her bedroom wall. "How _dare_ she? I'm her sister, dammit! She can't just leave me _behind_! Wait'll I get my hands on her, the sneaky little bitch! She's gonna regret this!"

* * *

"I have the sudden sinking feeling that someone's planning horribly gruesome ways to kill me." Beki said, looking around suspiciously. "Do you think maybe Diana found out I left her behind?"

"Possible." Nicole said, shrugging. "She's smart."

"And deadly. I wish Kouga-sama hadn't kicked us out; we could use some protection about now."

"Would a cameo reviewer appearance work instead?" A new voice asked, coming from a tree. "Even if you have to rescue her? I seem to be stuck."

* * *

"Chrissie! Jackie!"

"Sara!" Chrissie replied, waving at the blond barreling down on the group. "Enjoying yourself?"

"I am now." Sara answered with a grin. "Shippo's pretty cool, for a squirt."

"I am not a squirt!" Shippo protested, with the air of someone about to give up entirely.

"You don't even come up to my knee; you're a squirt."

Shippo chose not to argue further, though it was obvious he didn't agree with Sara's assessment.

"And once again, Beckers is missing." Sara noted with a sigh, absently smacking Miroku's hand away from her tuckus. "Why is that girl always the last one to turn up?"

"Makes it more interesting?" Chrissie ventured, again defending Jackie's person from Miroku's wandering hands. "All I know is, we should find her before her sister does, or there will be blood shed, and possibly death."

* * *

"Look, Nicole!" Beki exclaimed. "No hands!" The blond smiled happily, showing her palms to her friend on the ground before resuming her climb. It had been more than a year since she's last climbed a tree this big, but she still had the knack for it.

"Careful." Nicole warned evenly, not that she expected Beki to listen.

"Aw, honey, you're not stuck at all!" Beki said encouragingly. "You just gotta swing your left leg over and lower yourself. I'll be right here to make sure you don't fall, okay?"

"Okay…" The other girl said, sounding unconvinced, although she did as instructed. "Are you sure about this?"

"Sweetheart, I've been doing treetop rescues for goin' on ten years." Beki snorted, hanging upside down from her perch to guide the rescuee's legs to a more stable footing. "If I can get a scared-witless six-year-old with asthma out of tree, I can get you down. Now, real quick, let go of that branch with both hands and grab onto my arm."

"Meep!"

"Good, you're doing fine. Say, what's your name, anyway? There you go. Nice and easy, shift your weight closer to the trunk."

"You can call me Dreammistress Jade." Dreammistress Jade said, concentrating for all she was worth on getting herself snug against the tree's trunk.

"I'm Beki. Go ahead and grab the trunk so I can get right-side up, and we'll get you on solid ground, okay?"

"Fine by me."

"Good."

* * *

Nicole watched calmly as Beki swung down from the tree, encouraging Dreammistress Jade to do the same. Somewhat wiser than Beki, apparently, Jade opted for the hand-under-hand method, slower but certainly safer.

"That was fun." Beki remarked, grinning. "Let's do it again!"

"No," Nicole said quietly, assuming the role of Responsible Authority Figure. "We should find Sara and the others first."

"Demo, _Kaa-saaaaan_!" Beki whined, pouting.

"No." Nicole repeated, while Jade looked back and forth with a bewildered smile. "Sara first."

"Meanie."

"Walk, Beki."

* * *

"Oi! Hands to yourself, Monk boy, before you loose something you'll _really_ miss!"

"Miroku, leave Sara alone," Chrissie sighed. "She's been having a bad day."

"Bad day?" Sara repeated. "Understatement of the year. Gundam Wing was bad enough; I landed on my butt in a junkyard. But I got to spend the night in a featherbed, so that came out even. But then, I went through the roof of a hotel, and the place after that, I landed on top of a school with the biggest jerk ever invented. It's been a bad _week_, Chrissie, at least from the point of view of my rear."

"Meep!" Came a familiar cry from back in the trees. "Somebody help! She's gonna kill me!"

Hot on the heels of that statement came Beki, barreling into sight, and right into Miroku. The two hit the ground in a tangled pile of limbs,and a position that Miroku certainly approved of.

"Ow-wee, that hurt." Beki said with a sigh, feeling her head to see if she was bleeding. "I hate it when that happens. Are you all right? I certainly hope you are, because Diana's gonna kill me, and I need a protector." That said, she slid off Miroku and crawled on her hands and knees behind InuYasha. "Just keep in mind that without me, you'll be stuck with everybody else, and I'm one of the few people on the planet that doesn't wanna tweak your ears." She reminded the hanyou.

"Ima keel you!" Diana yelled, stomping up to the party with fire in her eyes. "Where is she? You've got some explaining to do, woman!"

"Do not!" Beki countered, blowing a raspberry over InuYasha's shoulder. "There's no _law_ what says I have to take you with me where I go!"

"Sure there is- it's the law of I'll-kick-your-ass-if-you-don't."

"Good point. Has Mom caught up with us yet?"

"Yes." Leeann said calmly. "You two can continue this when we get home. Sign this." She held out a pad of thick drawing paper and a felt-tip pen, waiting for InuYasha to take them. "Cute ears,"

Dreammistress Jade wandered over to Beki, who was still sitting behind InuYasha, and sat down next to the blond.

"I guess you get your weirdness from your Dad, huh?" She asked.

"Nah, Mom's just a different kind of weird." Beki said with a shrug. "If a man on a giant blue medicine ball came bouncing down the street and knocked the front wall off our house, she'd take that in stride, too. _And_ believe him when he said he'd pay for it." She paused for a moment, then grinned. "I got that from a fanfic."

There was some exchanging of autographs, and Sara and Shippo shared a heartfelt good-bye complete with hugs and a few tears. Then six teenagers and one damned cool mom bid farewell to the world of InuYasha and made for home.

* * *

_Sailor Moon is next! You'll get to meet another cool friend of mine – Kyle – and one lucky winner will get to ogle the Senshi in their miniskirts and heels!_

_So review, review, review!_

_Also, Dreammistress Jade- I'm sorry for assuming you can't climb trees, but it was all I could think of at the time._


	8. Sailor Moon, Part 1

To Dreammistress Jade- Just as long as you don't hate me. Climbing trees is a lot like riding a bike; no matter how long you stop, it just takes a little practice to get back in the swing of things. I love Rorouni Kenshin! I say oro all the time.

To KamiKaze no Kage- Most of my chapters are pretty short. If I tried to make them ten pages each, then updates would take even longer. Oh, and congrats; the cameo for Sailor Moon is yours.

To Mikol- Yes, crazy insanity is always fun. After Sailor Moon is Ai Yori Aoshi. It's a sweet romantic comedy, and one of my all-time favorite anime. After that is LoveLess, then Gravitation. Beyond that, you'll just have to wait and see.

* * *

Beki looked both ways, making sure no one was in sight, and kicked the soda machine.

With a loud _clunk_, it released her precious Dr. Pepper, and she smiled happily, digging the bottle out of the dispenser.

"Remember this little talk next time you feel like eating my money, okay?" She told the machine with a friendly pat before walking back down the hallway. Sara and Nicole joined her outside the cafeteria, and Chrissie fell into step as they passed the auditorium.

"You all have food?" Beki asked as they approached the back stairwell. Her friends nodded, and she smiled. "Good. I don't wanna faint from hunger again. Let's hurry, before anybody finds us."

The four girls set to work, closing the doors at both ends of the stairs. Diana, who had been waiting for them out of sight, began setting up the circle. Once everything was done to Beki's satisfaction, they all sat down and began to recite the spell.

"Eastern Maiden, bless us here."

"Southern Warrior, erase our fear."

"Western Mother, hear our prayer."

"Northern Crone, take us there."

"We call to thee, above and below. Hear our plea and make it so!" Beki said triumphantly as one of the doors opened behind her.

"_There_ you guys are," Kyle said, stepping up to the edge of the circle as the candles flickered out. "Class is about to-"

* * *

Diana opened her eyes on a world of pink.

Everywhere around her were pale pink flowers. The branches overhead were heavy with them, and they covered the ground beneath her. Even the air wasn't free of pink; every time a breeze passed through the trees, a cloud of petals rose to dance with it in the sunlight, like a shy, silk-clad princess meeting with her secret lover.

She shook her head sharply at the sudden poetic turn her thoughts had taken and stood up. She liked flowers just as much as the next girl, but that didn't mean she was going to spend all day looking at them. Instead, she was going to wander around and see if she could find someone she knew.

* * *

"Hey, Spot," Beki said cheerfully as Kyle sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "You missed the mattress, poor thing. Luckily, the fall wouldn't have killed you for long. How're you feeling?"

"In pain." Kyle said. "What happened?"

"You stumbled onto a spellcasting, my friend." Beki explained, sitting on the bed next to him. "Welcome to the wonderful world of Sailor Moon."

"How did we wind up here?"

"I came up with a spell that lets us travel to other dimensions." She said. "It doesn't give us much control when it comes to landings, though. You've gotta concentrate _real_ hard. The more you concentrate, the closer to the ground you are. Luckily, I was concentrating plenty for the both of us, so Usa-chan doesn't have a hole in her roof."

"Usa-chan?" Kyle repeated. "You're up to nicknames already? How long was I asleep?"

"A bit more than an hour. Usagi begged her parents to call her in sick today, and her mom's making food. Let's go eat."

* * *

"Meow."

"Meow yourself." Sara muttered, matching the cat glare for glare. "I'm not moving."

"Meow!" The cat repeated, more forcefully, pushing against her knee with one paw.

"Go sit somewhere else, Artemis." Sara said, sighing as she flipped channels. "When Minako gets home, _she_ can kick me off the couch."

"Meow," Artemis replied, looking upset. He sat for a moment longer, than padded off in a huff, his tail straight up in the air.

"Stupid cat."

As she bypassed another soup opera, Sara thought she heard him say, 'I heard that.'

* * *

Diana was beginning to find all this pink nauseating. She wasn't girly enough to appreciate it, one, and two, she seemed to be the only living thing around not rooted in place. Such a lack of human companionship made her testy, and a testy Diana was a hazard to those around her. If she didn't find someone soon, she just might wind up wailing on the next person she _did_ see.

* * *

Meanwhile, at a nearby middle school, three girls gathered to discuss something odd that had happened to them. Each one, while preparing for the day, had received a visitor. These visitors had simply appeared two to several feet above the ground and fallen. They all claimed to have come from a different world, and each insisted that there were more visitors wandering around.

Mizuno Ami, Kino Makoto, and Aino Minako compared notes and discovered that each visitor had been described in detail by the other two. Ami's visitor called herself Nicole. Nicole was quiet, unflappable, and very meditative. Makoto's visitor was Chrissie, an enthusiastic, endlessly curious brunette. Minako's visitor was a blond named Sara, whom she'd left sitting on the couch watching TV and eating instant ramen.

There were two other visitors unaccounted for, and Sara, Nicole, and Chrissie had all repeatedly stressed the dangers of leaving those two on their own, as both had the potential to murder someone.

* * *

Beki sat in front of the Tsukino family's television, entranced. She, an ordinary, insignificant American schoolgirl, was currently watching an anime no one else she knew had _ever_ seen, dubbed or otherwise. She was watching Sailor V, sitting between Kyle and Usagi while Usagi's mother puttered around behind them, cleaning.

She was just glad Usagi had her Japanese voice. Much as she loved her princess, she couldn't stand 'Serena's' English voice. That high-pitched whine would have been too much for her to bear.

"Usa-chan, I'm thirsty." Beki said, leaning against the younger blond and pouting. "Can you go get me a drink?"

"Kaa-san, Beki-chan wants a drink." Usagi said automatically, and Beki laughed.

"I'll get it myself, lazybones." She said, smacking Usagi playfully. "Your poor mom's got enough work without us ordering her around."

That little half-speech, however, had been plenty long enough for Mrs. Tsukino to run to the kitchen and bring back a glass of water.

"And speaking of chores, I wonder where Diana wound up. I hope it wasn't with Ami; poor Ami just doesn't have the force of personality to handle Diana."

"_You_ don't even have the force of personality to deal with Diana." Kyle informed her calmly.

"Well, she always did admire Hino-san's legs." Beki said, plowing right over Kyle as if he hadn't spoken at all. "And she likes the whole 'mysterious raven beauty' thing, too. Chances are, she wound up there. Usa-chan, when does Hino-san get out of school?"

* * *

_I'm now officially eighteen years old._

_Funny… I don't feel any different than when I was seventeen…_

_Oh, and KamiKaze no Kage, if you have anything special you'd like to do during your cameo, please tell me! Your gender and age bracket would be helpful, too._


	9. Sailor Moon, Part 2

To KamiKaze no Kage- Yes, to both the update and the cameo. It wouldn't be fair to let Dreammistress Jade have two cameos in a row, would it? Kaze. Got it. This may come as quite a shock to you, but Satanira isn't my real name at all. Nicknames will be the death of _somebody_ (glances meaningfully at certain of her friends that may be reading this). You know who you are. Kick a youma in the nuts; got it. Can do. I'll try to work faster on the updates, but no guarantees.

To Griffin- I really hate to have to tell you this, but I've never read or seen Read or Die. I want to, but I never have. Tell you what; you write a Read or Die arc, and I'll post it at the end! You can use you and your friends for it, and I'll get to read a chapter about an anime I've never seen! I wish I could do some kind of contest with that, but I can't think of any prizes…

To Mikol- Eh?

* * *

"-and Mamoru! Oh! If _ever_ I wanted to strangle a person, I've wanted to strangle Mamoru twice as bad!" Beki exclaimed as she, Kyle, and Usagi stepped off the bus in front of Rei's temple. "I swear, he doesn't deserve you in the least! For reasons that will become clear to you in the future, Usa-chan, I'm stating here and now that- Chrissie!" The blond broke off in mid-rant and attacked her wife, surprising and probably scaring Makoto half out of her wits.

"Didja miss me?" Chrissie asked, grinning, and patted Beki on the head. "Good love slave!"

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Beki objected, releasing Chrissie and posing dramatically. "I, young lady, am not your love slave! My soul may belong to you, and you may have exclusive park bench rights, but this body is property of Serenity-hime!"

"Shut up," Diana said, punching Beki on the top of her head. "I've had it with your psychobabble fangirl bullshit."

"Diana!" Beki exclaimed, throwing her arms around her sister's waist with an enthusiastic giggle. "I guessed right! You wound up with Hot Legs Hino-san!"

"Who're you calling Hot Legs?" Rei demanded angrily, hefting a handy wooden mallet.

"Whaaaaa! Mako-kuuuuun, Rei's picking on me!" Beki whined, earning herself another punch from Diana. "Y'know, sis, if not for the fact that I _have_ no brain, I'd accuse you of trying to cause me brain damage."

"What say we move out of the street, you guys?" Makoto suggested. "We're starting to draw a crowd."

* * *

By the time Ami and Nicole arrived, Diana and Rei had begun plotting ways to 'deal' with Beki and Usagi, Chrissie was asleep, Kyle was playing Solitaire, and Makoto had wandered off somewhere. When Sara and Minako showed, they were just in time to join the Makoto's Lost in the Cherry Trees and We Have to Find Her search party. In short, the shrine was in chaos, and it was probably all Beki's fault.

"Chrissie shall stay here and guard the base, since nobody can wake her up!" Beki stated dramatically. "Ami shall remain here with Chrissie, because Ami's cool that way." Ami blushed, and Beki paused in dishing out assignments to glomp her. "Rei, you take Diana, Nicole, and Minako and search the temple. Me, Usagi, Kyle, and Sara will search the grounds. Rei and I are team captains, so you have to listen to us! First group to find Makoto wins!"

That said, Beki ran off with her group to search the temple grounds, leaving a bewildered Rei to organize the search of the temple.

* * *

"Sometimes, I'm absolutely certain someone switched the bassinets on us." Diana commented. "There is _no_ way I'm really related to that spaz."

"By spaz, I assume you mean Beki," Rei said. "Considering how different you are, I support the bassinet theory."

"At least _somebody_ does." Diana sighed. "You know, Beki was right to call you Hot Legs Hino-san. You're not planning on changing any time soon, are you?"

"Are all Americans perverted, or is it just you?" Rei demanded, tugging at the skirt of her school uniform. With all the excitement, she hadn't been able to change into her hakama.

"A little of both, really," Diana said, not the least bit daunted. "I was raised in a perverted culture, and I'm a prime example of my generation. Besides, it's a compliment, Hot Legs."

"Why, you-" Rei started, but her communicator interrupted her.

"Eek! Rei-chan, Rei-chan, come quick!" Somehow, Beki had gotten ahold of someone's communicator. "Usa-chan's fighting a baddy, and she needs help! Meet us under the cherry trees! I repeat, Usa-chan's fighting a baddy!"

"Can I see that?" Diana asked, snatching Rei's communicator out of her hand. "We're coming, you blond buffoon, so pipe down!" She shouted. "Never call this number again, you hear?"

"Meanie,"

* * *

"C'mon, Moon-baby; _hit_ that youma!" Beki exclaimed from the sidelines. "You can _do it!_ 1-2-3, knock 'em dead!"

Kyle sighed to himself, pretending complete disassociation with the pompom-wielding blond and the tiara-throwing blond both. And for good measure, he kept a discreet distance from Sara, too. She might feel left out if she were the only blond he wasn't ignoring.

"Sailor Moon, she's the one, the one still standing when the fighting's done!" Beki yelled, imitating a one-girl cheerleading squad. "Win this fight, knock 'em down! Sailor Moon will rule this town!"

An uprooted tree suddenly flew at Beki's head. Amazingly, she managed to duck in time to avoid massive head trauma, and the tree hit the youma instead.

"Ooh, is Diana joining the fight?" Beki asked, turning around to see a strange teenage girl bearing down on her.

"Out of the way, stupid!" The girl exclaimed. Beki did as she was told, and the girl shot past her towards the youma. "Take this, you reeking pile of Negaverse scum!"

Sailor Moon had barely been holding her own against the youma; the strange girl acted like she could've beat it with one hand tied behind her back, although some of the tactics she used were… mean.

Like kicking it in the nuts- even Sailor Mars thought that was going a bit far. Or poking it in the eyes, stepping on its foot, kicking it in the nuts again, throwing dirt in its face and tripping it so that it stumbled headlong into a tree…

"I _like_ this chick!" Beki announced, pulling out her pompoms again. "Go, Mystery Chick!"

* * *

Once the youma was defeated and the dust settled, everyone gathered back at the temple, where Makoto waited with Chrissie, meaning neither group had won.

"So, Mystery Chick, what's your name?" Beki asked cheerfully. "Or do you like being called Mystery Chick?"

"You can call me Kaze." The mysterious youma-ass-kicker said. "I've got too many nicknames as it is."

"Okay, Kaze," Beki said, smiling like an idiot. "Ka-ze! I like it!"

"Nobody cares what you like." Diana said. "Hey, Hot Legs, you got any candles?"

Whether or not Rei had any candles, she certainly had a giant wooden mallet, because she chased Diana around the shrine with it for a good ten minutes before she calmed down.

* * *

"Good-bye, Usa-chan; I'll miss you,"

"I'll miss you, too, Beki-chan. I'll never, ever forget meeting you."

"Same here, Usa-chan,"

"_Awwww_…"

"Silence, wench," Beki muttered.

"Don't call me wench, bitch." Diana shot back.

"Whore,"

"Cunt,"

"_Relena_,"

Beki gasped, looking hurt. "You…you… how _dare_ you, you little China-loving _slut_?"

"Can't you just feel the love?" Sara asked as an aside to Minako. "Okay, you two, break it up. We gotta go,"

"Aw, but it was just getting good!" Beki protested.

"Yeah," Diana seconded. "I was about to call her Dorothy's sadomasochistic love slave."

"I am no such thing."

"Okay, _Quatre's_ sadomasochistic love slave," Diana amended.

"I can live with that,"

"Are you two done?"

"No,"

"Shut up and get in the circle," Kyle said. "Now,"

* * *

_Kyle is so cool!_

_I baked bread today, and it turned out really good! I wish I could get some to you guys, for being so cool and reviewing for my stories…_

_I'm gonna try making brownies later this week, too. I'm in a baking mood._

_Anywho, Ai Yori Aoshi is coming up next, and Taeko's bust line may be in danger…_


	10. Ai Yori Aoshi

To FREE MONEY! WOOHOO!- I am planning on doing Chobits. Later. Unfortunately, I've never seen DNAngel or Magic Knight Rayearth, so I can't do them. I'll give you the same option I gave Griffin; feel free to write a story arc of your own, and I'll gladly post it once I've gotten all of mine done. Who knows? I may even get together a few prizes and make a contest out of it. Oh, and you've won the Ai Yori Aoshi cameo.

To fairywm- … Note to self- never tell your family where you post your stories again. Of course I'm doing Gravitation and Yami no Matsuei! I love them both! I'll be sure to stick you in somewhere.

To KamiKaze no Kage- Youma should always be treated harshly. I'm glad you liked your cameo. I kick a lot, too, but I was born in the year of the Dragon. So… wow, you must be older than me! All the American fangirls _I_ know are that crazy and weird. And believe it or not, Beki is pretty damned accurate for a self-insert. The only time I don't act like that, basically, is when I'm cooking or depressed. Wait, that's two times… Oh, well.

To Mikol- A lot of my favorite anime are unknowns, like Ai Yori Aoshi or Generator Gawl; don't worry about it.

To Mymy- Diana was flirting with Mars. She has a prior claim, so you just have to grin and bear it, bitch. I know where I live, too.

* * *

'Twas an ordinary day at the Sakuraba Boarding House- Taeko was cleaning and breaking things, Kaoru was doing homework, Tina was getting drunk, Aoi was making lunch, Miyabi was away at a meeting, and Chika was at school. Just your basic, average day in the Ai Yori Aoshi universe.

That was about to change. Drastically.

* * *

"Look out below!" Chrissie exclaimed gleefully, half a second before she landed on top of someone. "That was fun! Let's do it again!"

"Let's not and say we did," Kyle sighed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Oh, and you're sitting on…" He paused, squatting to get a better look at the guy's face. "…Hanabishi Kaoru. I guess we're in Ai Yori Aoshi, then,"

Chrissie just smiled and scooted off poor, squished Kaoru, listening to the racket coming from down the hall.

"Let's go see who that is." Kyle suggested, just as the door was kicked open.

"_Kaoruuuuu_!" Tina Foster exclaimed, jumping on Kaoru with a squeal. "Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru! Someone fell out of the roof in my room! Oh, hello,"

"Hi," Chrissie said calmly, waving.

"Hello," Kyle added. "I'm Kyle, this is Chrissie. Who fell through your roof?"

"I dunno," Tina shrugged, pulling a semi-conscious Kaoru into her lap. "She's got short, dark hair, if that helps. And if not, she's standing right there."

Nicole smiled calmly and offered a small wave from her spot by the door.

* * *

Meanwhile, some distance from Kaoru and co, Miyabi was wrapping up a presentation to the financial team of the Sakuraba conglomerate when Beki landed on the table.

Very little in the way of odd things can happen at this kind of meeting, so most of the attendees weren't prepared to deal with it; two fainted dead away, five nearly had heart attacks, one screamed for his mommy, and three fled the room in terror. Of the remaining four, two simply stared, Miyabi glared, and one didn't seem to notice at all.

"Miyabi-san!" Beki exclaimed happily, launching herself at Miyabi from a sitting position, arms outstretched. "It's really you, Miyabi-san! I'm so happy, I could just _die_!"

Miyabi, as surprised as anyone could possibly be, nonetheless responded admirably. The blow she dealt Beki knocked the poor fangirl down the length of the table and into the far wall.

"_Itai!_" Beki exclaimed, jumping to her feet, one hand over her reddened cheek. "Itai, no da! Was that really necessary, Miyabi-san? Just knocking me out of the air would have sufficed; there was no need for such excessive force." She frowned, gently exploring the side of her face. "Well, no real harm done, I guess, so long as we get back to the house in a timely fashion."

"Eh?" Miyabi responded cleverly.

"Well, you can't very well just leave me here!" Beki exclaimed in exasperation. "One, I haven't got the slightest idea where I am; two, I came here specifically to see you, and a ride is a small courtesy to ask; and three, if you don't take me with you, you'll never get rid of the other five teenagers that are probably lounging about the boarding house as we speak."

* * *

Aoi hummed to herself as she went about doubling whatever she was making for dinner. Considering how some people could react under the circumstances, she handled the news that she'd be feeding six teenagers from an alternate universe pretty well.

All Sara really cared about was the delicious snack Aoi had made her. She was starving. Starvin' like Marvin, as Beki would say. Hungry enough to eat some weird Japanese pastry with hot filling, at least.

Sara finished up her snack not long before seven people, four of whom were known to her, invaded the kitchen. Chrissie and Nicole were talking to some blonde chick, Kyle was talking to a cute guy with brown hair and eyes, Diana was glaring around indiscriminately and dusting some kind of powder off her shirt, and a redhead in a maid's uniform was blushing and apologizing to Diana.

"Hey, peoples!" Sara said, waving. "Lovely weather today, isn't it?"

"No." Diana said shortly, and immediately began digging through the cabinets. "I need something to get the taste of laundry soap out of my mouth, and I need it now. Don't you people have any soda?"

Aoi immediately produced a bottle of soda, opened it, and handed it to Diana with a smile.

"I truly am very sorry, Diana-sama," The redhead said apologetically.

"No real harm done," Diana relented with a sigh, staring mournfully down at her glossy, dark silver over shirt. "It should come out in the wash.

"So," She continued after a long drink of soda, "any idea where my idiot sister is?"

* * *

Beki had a knack for knowing when something was going to turn out interesting. She wasn't quite sure how she always knew just which person near her would be the most entertaining, but it never failed. Sometimes it was obvious, sometimes not so much so, but at least it was always fun.

Which was how she knew, within moments of getting out of Miyabi's car, that she'd found a very interesting person, indeed.

Running back and forth across the lawn in front of the house were two girls. They both had long, stick straight black hair. One was kind of tall, the other kind of short. One was Diana, and she was wet from head to toe, wielding an equally soaked broom. The other was a strange girl with a water gun, and she was screaming, 'My kingdom for an eel! My kingdom for an eel!' over and over again as she ran.

"_Diana Marie Herbst!_" Beki yelled at the top of her lungs. "_Drop that broom!_"

"_And what if I don't?_" Diana shouted back, still chasing the strange girl, intent on causing bodily harm.

"_I'll tell Angel you said that yellow dress makes her butt look big! Your life won't be worth living anymore!_" Beki threatened, and Diana slowed to a stop. "_Nice kimono!_" She added with a grin, finally noticing her little sister's attire.

"_Fuck off and die, bitch!_" Diana yelled, swinging the broom up on her shoulder and marching towards the car. "What took you so long, anyway?"

"I had to convince Miyabi-san that it was in her best interests to take me home." Beki explained, waving at the group standing on the porch, out of harm's way. "Where are your clothes?"

"That redhead – Taeko – got laundry soap all over them, so Aoi let me borrow a kimono, since we're about the same height."

"I can think of one measurement where you differ, No-cans," Beki said, then took off with a laugh, Diana and her Broom o' Death right behind her.

* * *

Once Diana had been separated from both her sister and her broom and changed into a dry kimono, she calmed down some.

The strange girl with the water gun – Selena – and Beki engaged in a water war in the back yard while they waited. Tina, Kaoru, Chrissie, and Aoi all got dragged into it; Aoi was surprisingly deft at handling a garden hose effectively against the enemy, while Chrissie had the best aim with the magically-there water balloons.

Team Fangirl – Selena, Beki, and Aoi – won with a surprise attack that completely drenched Team Canon, occasioning much cheering all around.

"I'm soaked!" Beki exclaimed cheerfully, peeling off her soaked t-shirt with a laugh. "Are you as wet as I am, Chrissie?"

"Have you no modesty, Beki-san?" Miyabi demanded. "There are men present!"

"Oh, quit being such a prude, Mi-chan," Beki said, removing her waterlogged shoes. "You act like neither one of 'em's seen a bra before."

"You're such a slut, Beki," Diana accused, throwing a towel at her sister. "Cover yourself."

"That's just a rumor started by my non-paying customers, sister-dear."

* * *

"Everybody got all their pictures?" Chrissie asked.

"Given all the nosebleeds they wanted?" Beki added with a wicked grin.

"If we stay a while longer, we can all take turns killing Beki," Diana suggested.

"Silence, sweater monkey!" Beki exclaimed dramatically. "We all set? Then let us be off!"

* * *

Diana landed with a soft thump in someone's arms, a much preferable landing pad to some she'd had already. It didn't hurt that her landing pad was tall, blonde, and good-looking, with amazing eyes.

"What's your name, Handsome?" She asked, grinning, as something crashed off to her side.

"Soubi,"

* * *

_Next up is LoveLess, in which a shocking secret of Diana's is revealed, and one of Beki's fondest wishes comes true. Will Chrissie find herself a new wife? Will Diana finally fall in love? Find out in the next exciting installment of _Attack of the Rabid Fangirls!


	11. Loveless, Part 1

To KamiKaze no Kage- I'm 18. I guess I'm older than you, then. Wow, you're going to college next year? If I hadn't gotten my GED, I'd still be a sophomore. Umm… Y'know, maybe I should e-mail you about the shows, since you're such a special reviewer to me. The only thing you really, absolutely need to know about Loveless is that virgins have kitty ears and matching tails. Lose your virginity, loose your ears. See? Congrats on your second cameo in this fic.

To Mikol- I don't know many animes, either, and most of the ones I know are obscure titles. Tsubasa, maybe; xxxHolic, no. I haven't read but the first book of xxxHolic, so I really can't do that one, and it'd be kind of hard to do Tsubasa, but I'll give it a shot.

To Artemis- You seriously sound like my little sister. It's actually kind of scary.

* * *

"_That was exhilarating!_" Beki exclaimed, shaking her head so that droplets of water splashed everywhere. "Nihao,"

"N-nihao," the bathtub's other occupant said uncertainly. "Wh-who are you?"

"_Watashi wa Beki desu_!" Beki answered cheerfully. "Nice to meetcha, Hitomi-_sensei_! Wow, you're sexy when you're naked,"

Hitomi couldn't seem to decide if she should be flattered or embarrassed; she settled for a powerful blush and much incoherent stammering.

* * *

"So, Soubi," Diana said as Soubi set her on her feet, "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

"I believe that's my line," Soubi responded with the ease of a practiced flirt. "It's not every day a beautiful girl falls from the sky and straight into one's arms."

Diana, busy investigating the source of the crash, just smiled. "Well, if it isn't Spot. Hey, Kyle, you alive?"

"Ugh," Kyle informed her without so much as twitching.

"Oh, good; Beki'd have a litter of spotted kittens if I let you die on us."

* * *

_Boing. Boing. Boing._

Yuiko-chan was racked for a full-grown woman, let alone an elementary-schooler. She bounced constantly, and Chrissie couldn't help but think what Beki would do once she saw a chest that so invited groping.

"Ritsuka-kun isn't answering his phone," Yuiko said, turning so that her chest bounced _and_ swayed. "Yuiko will call Soubi-kun now, then try Ritsuka-kun again, okay?"

"Perfectly fine with me," Chrissie said absently, hunting through the kitchen for food that required no cooking while Yuiko dialed away on her cell phone.

_Boing._

* * *

Having convinced his mother he'd only fallen out of his chair, Ritsuka closed his bedroom door with a relieved sigh. Being caught with a girl in his room was most definitely _not_ something the old Ritsuka would do.

"Your phone rang twice while you were gone." His guest said. "I couldn't read the names." She handed him his phone and moved over so he could sit on the bed next to her.

"Thanks," He said absently. Both calls were from Yuiko. He wondered if maybe a teenager had fallen out of nowhere onto _her_ bed, too. Well, if it was important, she'd call back. Right now, he had bigger problems to deal with.

Like where Nicole was going to sleep.

* * *

Sara yawned hugely, stretching. It was incredibly early in the morning, and according to Yayoi, it was Saturday. She wasn't awake enough to form a coherent sentence, so she'd have to wait to find out why they were going to school on a Saturday.

She and Yayoi go plenty of stares, for obvious reasons. Sara returned most if not all of the stares herself, also for obvious reasons. Everyone here had cat ears. Including Sara.

That had been something of a shock; one minute, she'd been utterly normal, the next she'd been sporting blonde cat ears and a stubby kitty tail. If the same thing had happened to Beki, she'd be on cloud nine.

"Yayoi, are you sure it's okay for me to be coming to school with you?" Sara asked, her tail twitching. "You're an okay kid, and I don't want to get you in trouble,"

"It's fine, Sara-san," Yayoi assured her. Imagine, someone calling her –_san_! "I'm sure Sensei will understand."

"Yayoi-kun!" Someone yelled. "Yayoi-kun, wait for Yuiko-chan!"

Yayoi turned a bright cherry-tomato red, but he did stop, and even managed to compose himself somewhat by the time Yuiko-chan caught up.

"Hey, Chrissie," Sara said, twitching a kitty ear in greeting.

"Morning, Sara," Chrissie said, twitching both kitty ears in response. "Seen Beki?"

"Not yet, but I do spy Nicole headed our way."

The foursome waited politely for Nicole and her purple-eyed, kitty-eared escort to reach them. It was a good bet that most, if not all, of the characters here were in elementary school.

"Hey, Yayoi," Sara said, struck by a sudden idea. "Is your teacher a boy or a girl?"

"Sensei is a girl!" Yuiko chimed in happily.

"Does Sensei have kitty ears, too?" Chrissie asked, having hijacked Sara's train of thought.

"Hai!" Yuiko confirmed.

"That's where Beki is, then," Nicole said, ever in sync with the thoughts of those around her.

* * *

Beki was waiting patiently in the back of the classroom for the others to show up, surrounded by a gaggle of spellbound elementary school students. At least half the class was seated or standing around her, listening as she read aloud from A Dragon-Lover's Treasury of the Fantastic. The current tale was one of battle, of a young boy out to be master of a fighting dragon, and the kids loved it. The boys cheered when Jakkin's red dragon drew first blood, and the girls gasped in dismay when the red's wing was wounded. The uproar when the red took the fight was gratifying, even if Hitomi-_sensei_ shushed them almost immediately.

Beki finished the story just before Sara, Nicole, Chrissie, Ritsuka, Yayoi, and Yuiko walked in together, like one big, happy family.

"Chrissie!" Beki exclaimed, dropping her book on a desk and glomping her wife. "I misseded you! Do you like my ears?" She was perversely proud of her ears; they started out blonde at the bottom, fading to dark brown at the tips, just like the dye job on her hair. Her tail was long and graceful, with the same coloring.

"They're beautiful," Chrissie said. "Do you know this fandom?"

"Loveless," Beki said instantly. "Ritsuka-chan's the main character. Diana and/or Kyle probably wound up with Soubi. C'mon; you guys just _have_ to meet Hitomi-_sensei_!"

* * *

Kaze, having barely recovered from her sojourn in the world of Sailor Moon, cursed inventively. She'd been in the middle of studying for a test when she'd gotten sucked into Satanira's fanfic again. Having done this once already, she knew what had happened, if not where she was, which meant she had to go find Beki and the others before she could get back to studying.

"Aren't you a bit young to know what that word means?" The guy with greenish hair and way too many earrings asked. He'd said his name was Kyo, and he was in college.

"No," Kaze said. "Now, who's the nearest bish, and where can I find him? I need to be getting home."

* * *

_Sorry it took so long! And that it's so short. Forgive me!_


End file.
